Stitched not Burned

If you knew I was in love with you, I wonder how you would react. I’m hoping you never ask me, “Why?”, because I will never be able to give you a straight answer. I’m trying to figure things out myself. I am just as perplexed as you are but that shouldn’t stop you from reciprocating. I wouldn’t be surprised if you chose to walk away. I am no stranger to rejection. I guess I’ve just been dealing with the pain long enough to numb my emotions. Maybe, even the emotions only you made me feel.

I might be able to tell you about the nights since I met you late one summer evening. It was an ungodly hour to work in a field that knows no breaks, days off or business hours. I knew, looking at your eyes that underneath the mask is a lovely young lady who is passionate about what she does. Passion has always been my driving force and it is something you have rekindled and kept burning for me.

I can tell you that you make me feel like a “superhero” in a preoccupation where only young men thrive. Maybe I came too late in the game but you give me enough of a spark to fire up my engines. You inspire me in ways that no one has ever done.

I can tell you that the sound of your voice takes me back to a time when life was good and free and honest. I love listening to you talk and tell stories of your days at work and after hours. I could sit idly—though I never want to, and just stare at your lips as you speak and make gestures. I could listen to you for hours on end.

I can tell you that your gait and the way you carry yourself puts me in awe. Walking behind you is a good place to be if only to watch you move. I can tell by looking at your un-manicured hands that you are a caring person who doesn’t care about appearances and that you dress in a manner that was meant for efficiency and comfort, rather than just fashion.

I can tell that you like dogs better than cats although it was because of a cat that I felt and fell for you one hot afternoon on the roof. It was also there that I discovered how keen you are with details and that somehow you saw me for what I am and I was pleasantly surprised that you were in fact taking an interest in something I am passionate about.

I can tell you that after all these years of looking, photographing and socializing with “living mannequins” or pretty women, I have discovered beauty in your plainness and sophistication in your simplicity. I will never see women that same way again as I have seen in you that form matters little and substance is everything! The more I see you, the more I see into you and the less I care about external beauty. What you are inside draws me inexplicably and irreversibly.

That said, I cannot tell you how empty my life would be without you. I can no longer imagine going the rest of the journey alone or with someone else. I have chosen you because I love what you are and I love who you are. And mostly, I love what you have turned me into!

I wonder, after all I’ve said, if you’ll love me back and be that one person who owns me and takes me home after all those years on the road—weary, numb and angry—and maybe with you, I will finally find my peace.