Tea for Two

(Originally published 2.8.2012)

It has been a while since I shot my own project. I can't even recall what my last personal project was. Having turned "professional" some decades back, I have sacrificed doing what I love, reasoning that I needed to generate income from doing what I love. 


Most of us have succumbed to this predicament. I remember as a kid learning photography that I was never without the 35mm camera. There was hardly a weekend that I wouldn't experiment about lighting, improvised gadgets or taking long walks along the bay, looking for that one shot that would consummate the desire! It was a good thing being an "amateur"--no pressure, no deadlines, no nagging bosses, and no risk of your reputation being ruined!


As our skills develop and our "market value" increases, we hardly realize that we are slowly deviating from our intended flight path. The course we have set for ourselves at the point where we decided what we wanted as a career is gradually dotted with detours and we begin to lose sight of why we wanted this career in the first place.


Bit by little bit, our "profession" chips away at the very essence of our creativity. 


Sometimes, in more lucid moments we look back at how we were when we were starting out--at least, the true artist will reflect. The fake ones are just too proud to acknowledge they were once mediocre at best at what they did!


Being in media is a unique career. What other profession in the world lets you view and experience every other aspect of life not limited to your occupation? If you were an accountant, an architect, a banker or a soldier, chances are you'd be that way all your life. That would be the only life and the only world you'll ever know. I have seen and experienced albeit vicariously, things people are only too curious to find out!


I have no regrets leaving the industry. What I loved most about it is far outweighed by what I really hate--the unnecessary pressure, the deadlines, the bloated egos, the useless peers and subordinates, and most of all, the false sense of purpose!


For years I endured the mediocrity of the mundane because I was focused on making a living. That also meant that I had to give up on a "life"!


There has to be a balance in an artist's life. Creativity needs sustainability but that doesn't mean prostituting one's values. I do believe there is a way to earn without "selling out"!


Recent history is proving me right. I may have found what every artist only dreams of--the perfect compromise! 

I have gone back to where it all started, where shooting and creating used to be fun! Of course, there will always be the need for money but I will no longer feel the need to slave for it! Through the kindness of friends and the inspiration of a new partner, I truly believe this train will reach its destination.


A film or tv project is ideally the collaborative effort of a writer and director. I realize that with few exceptions, I have played both roles in more than a few projects. This time, I am very thankful to have been blessed by the coming of 

a gifted writer who seems to be a mirror image of my persona. At least now, I will be relieved of the burden of putting my thoughts on paper and concentrate on the visual treatment. 


The days of mainstream media are numbered. Maybe someday people realize there's just too much shit on-air and that their minds are being numbed to accept mediocrity and garbage as Gospel truth. 


There is hope!





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